Recollections of Nail-Biting

I was reading results of a study on folks put through ex-gay therapy, and it reminded me of this interesting tidbit from my past.

Around my 22nd or 23rd year, I developed a theory about my “homosexual tendencies” and nail biting. See, I had been biting my nails for as long as I could remember, and I had also been attracted to men since I recognized attraction. In my Christian upbringing, addictions were often treated as a spiritual thing. Older men, first-generation Christians*, would often give testimony that when they got saved their drinking/drug/gamboling addictions would immediately disappear. Many other things, when done in excess, were also considered addictions, including nail biting, video gaming, and looking at pornography. Continue reading

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Little Stories #One

Today I’m going to share four short stories that I’ve written. The come randomly to me in different circumstances, usually from something I’ve read or a comment a friend has made. I would call them more Scenes than Stories, actually, but here they are. Hope you like them. Continue reading

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All the Colors!

I got this idea from my friend Penny. You can read her post here: Colors – Old Skool.

I tend to think in colors a lot. Sometimes I describe my feelings in colors rather than with adjectives. I assign people different colors or auras in my mind. When sending energy to people, it’s always in colors.

The funny part? I’m red-green colorblind!

The questions below are from Kickin’ It Old Skool. Continue reading

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Coming Out Part III: The Pros and Cons

Happy National Coming Out Day!

Happy National Coming Out Day!

This is the third post in my Coming Out series.
Part I | Part II | Part III

Today is the 25th anniversary of

National Coming Out Day!

(Read more here.) I am proud to be an out gay man. As part of my Coming Out series, today I am going to list some of the positives and some of the negatives I’ve faced since my decision to come out of the closet. Continue reading

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Autumn Gold: The Preface

Shopping for my first wig!

Shopping for my first wig!

Hi! You may already know a bit about me (see: every preceding post, also About Me). That’s Sean-Allen you’ve met. But there is someone else I’d like you to meet: Autumn Gold.

I don’t remember when I actually decided I wanted to do drag. It was certainly in the last year and a half, after I came out. I remember discovering RuPaul’s Drag Race and being immediately enthralled. I have since watched seasons 2-5 of RPDR, and all three seasons of RuPaul’s Drag U. Continue reading

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Coming Out Part II: I Can’t Even

This is the second post in my Coming Out series.
Part I | Part II | Part III

“I can’t. I can’t do this. I just can’t even!”

These are the thoughts I have as I try to write my coming out story. I tried to explain last week why it’s difficult. But I underestimated myself. I was going to start my story last Friday, but I don’t even know what to say. It still hurts. And that’s really sad. It’s not my fault. Sometimes I have to remind myself that.

I ache. Literally. When I think about what I have to say, my body hurts inside. I want to cry. Sometimes I want to scream. And say naughty words. Like FUCK EVERYTHING!!!!! If you knew me, you’d understand how deeply I must hurt to say that. Continue reading

Posted in Being Gay, Coming Out, From the Heart, Sexuality and Gender | Tagged , , | 7 Comments